I know this is really early for an entry- it's not even noon, aha. xD But I keep meaning to write this, and every time I think of it I'm either out of time or don't have a computer to type it on. ;u;
I figured I'd do this now, since I have the time and access to a computer to write it with too. uvu
Anyway, I'm sure most of you remember how I had that whole semi-depression type thing back around last year, right?
Well, back sometime over the summer I managed to convince myself it wasn't real. I don't know how, but I did. .3.
Around this time I started limiting myself to one 'off' day a month, too. Basically one day a month where I could just let myself go and not bother trying to keep my moods up, that sort of thing. And I could do it.
I even managed to go more than a month without an off day, which was really, really cool. ewe
Moving was really stressful for me- pretty much once a day I wanted to cry or I'd keep tearing up, etc. I ended up getting really dehydrated on the last day we had to pack, and I felt really gross a lot of that day.
After I moved, things actually started getting better.
I don't know if it has anything to do with the location change or not, but that's about the time it seemed to happen. uvu
The timing itself was really weird- I lost a really close member of my family back in July (I can't remember if I ever really specified, but it's really obvious I'm not totally okay in entires around that time, like this one) and usually this would've broken me. I would've been worse than ever. But I wasn't. Somehow, I wasn't. I have no idea how.
Instead, I got better.
Things have actually been really great since this summer, in terms of my 'depression' (which I still don't believe is an actual thing, and it was never diagnosed. I also have reason to believe it was some sort of weird mix of shock/grief.). I used to be able to visualize me 'levels', usually though rising water. I can't really do that anymore, which is really cool.
I've been a lot more social this year than I have in a long time, and I've been closer to the person I was in 2012, closer to the person I want to be, in a while too. I've made a lot of really cool friends so far this year, and I'm still making them, aha. xD
I smile a lot too- a lot more than I used to. I'm usually in a really good mood, unless something bugging me or I'm tired. Stuff like that.
And I'm finding all these tiny little pieces of myself that I sort of forgot existed. Some of them I remember now that I have them, others were in the back of my mind somewhere, and others I probably didn't give much thought to when they turned up. For example, Celtic music isn't half bad. And I like to step dance.
All this started back around nine months ago. I've been okay for nine months, and that amazes me. I'm still constantly amazed by this fact, and it makes me really happy to know that I'm not that person I was for thirteen months of my life- that's thirteen months I'm not going to get back, and I don't intend on going down that road again.
It took me a little while- I don't know how many of you would remember this, but back in November of 2013 (November thirteenth, to be exact), I posted an entry, titled 'I'm gonna change things.' I talked about how I wanted to change who I was, how I didn't like how I'd changed, etc. I said I was going to change who I was back into who I wanted to be- the "me" of 2012. I was going to start with my eating habits.
And I did.
I still have some problems with it sometimes- but I think that's more part of my medication doing its thing, because one of the side effects is a loss of appetite, or less of an appetite. I've been eating in the mornings, and I don't think I've skipped breakfast since then. Not that I can remember, anyway, aha. If I don't have time to eat before school, I take something with me, and if I can't eat it in class, I'll eat it between instead. It's sort of become a personal rule to eat something for every meal.
I've been really great the past few months, and when someone asks me 'How are you?' I can honestly tell them I'm doing great.
It's a really great feeling, and I'm really proud of myself for accomlishing this. :'D
I've wanted to tell you guys about all of this for a while now, and I'm glad I finally had the chance. ewe
I don't really have much more to say, but if I think of anything else I'll add it in later! ^^
I've had this tab open for a while now, it's one thirty PM, aha. xD //shot
I'll write more here later, I just wanted to get this out of the way. 030 I'm probably going to save this in my drafts until then, and I'll submit this at the usual time. X3
Anyway, I'll talk to you guys after a while! :D
Bye! xD
It's after nine PM now, and I'm still not finished me homework. D: I'm almost finished with my French, which is good, but I still have to do some math, and I'm not sure how long that's going to take, ehh. ;=;
I realized last night that I still didn't tell you guys about the April Fool's joke my class and our student teacher played on her faculty advisor, but I don't have the time to go that tonight. .3. If I have the time I'll do it tomorrow. I think I'm going to take my laptop with me to Dad's place this time, because I want to go on tumblr a little tomorrow. uvu
It's Dad's birthday on Saturday too, so maybe I'll find ideas for a card or something. ewe I dunno, aha. xD
Anyway, I think I'm going to get off for tonight so I can finish my homework and maybe read a little before I go to bed! ^^
I'll be on again tomorrow. owo
Night guys! :3
